As a middle management slave (to the rhythm of getting regular paycheck), I can’t help but think if Harriet Tubman somehow came to the present, she might find a contemporary ally in a young woman working in a cubicle farm on one of America’s finest modern plantations, the corporate office. And while we’re at it, how about an homage to that fine style of television genius, the sitcom. Doesn’t this just beg the question:
What if Harriet Tubman returned to the present to free those in ‘captivity’?
For your consideration…Harriet and Me.
TAGLINE: When Mimi, a corporate drone, receives a visit from the indelible civil rights hero, Harriet Tubman, her life will never be the same.
Int. Corporate Office Cubicle Farm – DAY
MIMI sits working. The fuzzy hair and two eyes of HARRIET TUBMAN peep over the cubicle wall.
HARRIET TUBMAN
Pssst. You want your freedom?
MIMI
(Staring at her monitor)
Oh no. No more Girl Scout cookies. I already bought six boxes of Dosi-Do’s from Kim in Sales.
Psst. The wind blows to the South.
MIMI
(Staring at her monitor)
Yeah, I do smell Barb’s cabbage rolls, but I think I’ll skip the potluck. I’ve got Lean Cuisine.
(Angry)
Does no one around here work, but me? This Power Point preso won’t get done by four o’clock with you bugging me!!!
HARRIET TUBMAN appears in MIMI’s cube.
HARRIET TUBMAN
Child, you care ‘bout potlucks and presentations more than your freedom?
MIMI
Harriet Tubman!!?!?!?
HARRIET TUBMAN
Shhh, child. Don’t say my name…
MIMI
I can do a search for you on the Internet…
HARRIET TUBMAN
No, child…
HARRIET grabs MIMI’s hands. MIMI stuggles back.
MIMI
What’s the matter with you, Harriet Tubman!? Stop, Harriet Tubman! Stop!
FIONA, Mimi’s boss, walks up on the tussle. From FIONA’s point-of-view, Mimi is fighting with air.
FIONA
Mimi!? Mimi? What the hell is the matter with you?
SEVERAL CO-WORKERS have gathered.
MIMI
Harriet Tubman won’t let me search for her on the internet. I didn’t know she worked here…
FIONA
Harriet Tubman, Mimi? We’ll talk about this in your performance review next week.
MIMI looks at HARRIET. HARRIET winks at her. MIMI looks at her CO-WORKERS and points.
MIMI
You guys don’t see…Harr-i-et…Tub…(suddenly aware)..I HAVE been working such long hours…going home now….
MIMI grabs her jacket and purse and jets. HARRIET follows.
FADE TO:
Int. MIMI’s Apartment – Kitchen – DAY
HARRIET sits at the kitchen table. MIMI makes espresso.
MIMI
Harriet Tubman, do you want one shot or two?
HARRIET
Good, you got a shotgun. We gonna need it when they ambush…
MIMI
No, Harriet Tubman–one or two shots of espresso in your macchiato?
HARRIET
Child, you need to stop meddlin’ with that. What about your freedom?
MIMI
Um, Harriet Tubman…if this thing is going to work, you need to get with the times. We’re free now.
MIMI puts two coffees on the table and sits.
HARRIET
You call working in that three wall hovel with no chamber pot ‘freedom’?
MIMI
I call you not telling me only I can see you the way to freedom through unemployment!
HARRIET
Blame Nat Turner. That’s his trick. And don’t go thinkin’ you’re so special. Other folk can see me…if I want ‘em to. No matter, child. I’ve never lost a single passenger.
HARRIET takes MIMI in her arms, lays MIMI’s head on her chest. HARRIET hums softly.
HARRIET takes a sip of coffee and spits it out everywhere in distaste.
CUT TO:
MONTAGE:
MUSIC CUE: Guerilla by Gil Scott-Heron
A) Int. MIMI’s apartment – Bathroom – DAY – MIMI shows HARRIET how the toilet flushes and HARRIET shows child-like delight.
B) Ext. MIMI’s backyard – DAY – HARRIET shows MIMI how to cock a shotgun. It backfires into MIMI’s shoulder. MIMI whimpers.
C) Int. MIMI’s apartment – Kitchen – DAY – MIMI shows HARRIET how to make espresso. HARRIET spits coffee all over MIMI.
D) Ext. Woods – DAY – HARRIET takes MIMI into the woods with a blindfold on, leaves MIMI alone to find her way back. MIMI panics. Next, it’s NIGHT in the woods and we see MIMI whimpering in the fetal position with her blindfold still on. HARRIET arrives, swings MIMI over her shoulder and carries her back.
FADE TO:
Int. MIMI’s apartment – Living Room – Day
MUSIC OUT
MIMI enters. She dresses like HARRIET in a long dress and carries an oil lantern. The doorbell rings. MIMI looks through the peephole then makes a face like Rolo’s on this episode of ‘Sanford and Son’
(@ 2 mins, 40 seconds (2:40)) when he sees Fred at his door. MIMI opens the door.
MIMI
Jermaine?
JERMAINE enters.
JERMAINE
What up, girl? I knew you’d finally get with the program and invite your boy to rendez-vous.
HARRIET TUBMAN enters in modern-day, short hootchie skirt and low-cut, bosom-exposing blouse.
MIMI
Where the hell are you going dressed like that, Harriet Tubman?
HARRIET
I have a date with Jermaine.
Nuh-uh, Grandma. You said MiMi wanted me to come down. Said if I could give her some of that ol’ time Amistad lovin’ she might stop being such a tight ass (he begins gyrating his hips like he’s K-Ci from Jodeci)
MIMI
Harriet Tubman! Jermaine is an octopus–all hands (she fondles her own breasts), and besides, he’s the building super.
JERMAINE
Damn, girl. Why you gotta call a brother out?
MIMI
Harriet Tubman! I know those aren’t my Jimmy Choo’s!
Close up of HARRIET’s club-like, well-worn, dusty feet bursting through Mimi’s sandals. MIMI looks to the heavens with ‘why me’ incredulity. JERMAINE tries to get in a quick round of ‘tuning Tokyo’ on MIMI’s breasts while her defenses are down. MIMI quickly bats JERMAINE’s hand away. HARRIET TUBMAN looks sheepishly and shrugs her shoulders.
END
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What? It could happen!
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